Terror Sera

Oakland man gets 2 1/2 years for crank phone threats

(09-15) 16:50 PDT SAN FRANCISCO --
An Oakland man was sentenced today to 2 1/2 years in federal prison for threatening to blow up San Francisco City Hall and the Westfield Shopping Mall.

Devon Craft, 22, pleaded guilty in May to threatening to destroy property by explosives. He admitted that on July 13, 2006, he used a cell phone to place four 911 calls threatening "terrorist attacks" in San Francisco. [Really? In this day and age someone is dumb enough to do this?]
Craft admitted that he tried to disguise his voice by using a "Middle Eastern accent" [Because there is no way someone could see through his brilliantly executed fake accent] in his calls, during which he also threatened to blow up the "San Francisco Tribune" [There is no such paper as the San Francisco Tribune. What a genius!] and said innocent people would die, prosecutors said.
Craft also admitted to making threatening phone calls in June 2006 regarding attacks at the San Mateo and Dumbarton bridges "so that he could get time off work to visit his son at the hospital," prosecutors said. [Boss, can I have off? My son is in the hospital. ... No I am sorry. You can't. ... NO? That makes me very angry. And when I get angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth get upset, PEOPLE DIE!] Court records did not indicate how Craft believed the threats would provide him with time off. [Because no person with two brain cells in the same zip code could possibly following the logic of this plan.]
At a hearing today in San Francisco [It's a wonder that this genius did not pull the court's fire alarm to try to get out of his hearing], U.S. District Judge Marilyn Hall Patel ordered Craft to serve 30 months in federal [pound you in the @ss] prison. [where he can learn to be a proper criminal] The sentence will be on top of state-prison terms he is now serving for unrelated theft and robbery [He has a record? Shocking. ]in cases from Alameda County.
Authorities said Craft was sentenced to more than two years in state prison for store parking lot robberies in November 2006 in Alameda County. Craft grabbed women's backpacks, purses and handbags in the robberies, authorities said. [Wait a second here. This guy got 2 years for purse snatching, but only got 2 1/2 years for threatening to commit terrorist acts against 6 different targets on two separate days? Anyone else see the disparity there?]