Daddy Sera

Dad accused of leaving son while fleeing police

Mon Sep 8, 7:19 PM ET
MEMPHIS, Tenn. - A Memphis man is accused of leaving his 3-year-old son behind [blood is thicker than water, but apparently not thicker than alcohol - read on] while running from police on foot after a traffic accident. [Fleeing on foot is always a good way to handle a traffic accident, because if you are not there, they can never prove it was you...well, except for the license plate registered to you, and the registration card under your name, and your kid in the car. But other than those things they can never trace it back to you.] A 46-year-old man was charged with driving under the influence [Surprise!] and child endangerment ["Endangerment? What danger? He was inside the car wasn't he? It's not like he was on the roof or something!"] after a minor traffic accident Sunday night.
A police affidavit says the man tried to run from the scene but was chased down and held for authorities by two witnesses to the accident. [Nice work Green Hornet and Kato!]
The man was accused of leaving his son, who was not properly restrained ["Not properly restrained? I duct taped him to the front seat. You can't get a better restraint than that!"], sitting on the front seat of his car. [The kid was cited for driving without a license since his Dad made him drive because the Dad was too plowed.] Police said the boy's mother came and picked him up. [And to make sure he was safely transported, she fastened him to the floor of the trunk.]
No serious injuries were reported. [Well no serious injuries except the injury to the child's sense of stability and well being, and the injury to the neighborhood's sense of safety, and the injury to our collective intelligence and the very fabric of an intelligent society...except for those.]