Morte Sera

From Yahoo News...

otherwise titled as "What happens when rednecks come into money."

SOUTH CHICAGO HEIGHTS, Ill. (Gotta love the heartland)- Bill Bramanti will love Pabst Blue Ribbon (Really? This is your favorite beer? Of all the beers in the country, he chose PBR?) eternally, and he's got the custom-made beer-can casket to prove it. (Because I am sure that 55 inch waist and that gigantic boiler hanging under his rib cage isn't proof enough.)"I actually fit, because I got in here," (Of course he did! Why wouldn't he! Gotta play with the new toy, right) said Bramanti of South Chicago Heights.The 67-year-old Glenwood village administrator (Still working at 67? Maybe the money he spent on the beer coffin would be better put toward retirement) doesn't plan on needing it anytime soon, though. (Drinking PBR, I guess ya never know, do ya?) He threw a party Saturday ('Cause everyone knows that you have to throw a coffin buyin' party!) for friends and filled his silver coffin " designed in Pabst's colors of red, white and blue " with ice and his favorite brew. (I guess he was tired of using the fridge on the front lawn). "Why put such a great novelty piece (I'm sorry? Did she just say novelty piece in reference to a coffin? OK. Just checking.) up on a shelf in storage (What kind of shelf does she have that holds a coffin? What is she a vampire?) when you could use it only the way Bill Bramanti would use it?" said Bramanti's daughter, Cathy Bramanti, 42. (The apple doesn't fall far from the tree) Bramanti ordered the casket from Panozzo Bros. Funeral Home in Chicago Heights, and Scott Sign Co. of Chicago Heights designed the beer can.