Beera Sera

From Yahoo News

ST. AUGUSTINE, Fla - Police have arrested a motorist they say had a 24-pack of beer [What, no keg was available?] strapped in with a seat belt but had a 16-month-old girl unrestrained in the back seat with the toddler's mother [Hey, kids are resiliant. They can heal, but aluminum cans get dented, and you can't get those dents out].
Tina D. Williams was pulled over in St. Augustine on Sunday for allegedly running a red light. [She must've been too distracted by the thoughts of the drunken stupor she had planned for later or maybe something else - read on ]
A 24-pack of Busch beer [ah, the good stuff] was strapped in with the passenger-side seat belt [sure, you gotta protect your investments], according to an arrest report. The girl was in the back seat with 20-year-old Amber Tedrick, who is the toddler's mother [She is 20, with a 16 month old - you can do that math - and the cycle of exemplary parenting spawns yet another generation].
Williams, 46, said she didn't know why the child wasn't restrained. [NO! I cannot imagine that this woman did not know what her child and grandchild were doing. She is such an attentive and careful parent. This report must be a lie.]
Williams refused to take a breath test [I can't imagine why. Maybe they should have had the front seat passenger take the test. A 24 pack has to blow at least a .15, right?] and a deputy found two metal pipes commonly used to smoke drugs in her purse, authorities said. [GASP! I am shocked! This type of behavior is so unlike her. And who is the second pipe for, anyway? The 24 pack? She must be running for Mother of the Year.]
Williams was charged with driving under the influence, child abuse, possession of drug paraphernalia and driving without a license, a jail official said. She remained in the St. Johns County jail Tuesday after bail was set at $31,000.[Too bad she blew all of her cash on beer and weed.]
The jail did not have the name of her attorney. [I bet he's happy that did not get printed] It was not clear if Tedrick would face any charges [Why would she? She didn't do anything wrong. It is perfectly fine to have your 16 month old child unrestrained in the back seat of a car driven by a weed totin', beer swillin', red light runnin' drunkard, as long as she is related to you.] , but the child was released to her care, according to The Florida Times-Union.