The-Day-I-Was-Borna Sera

Woman marks birthday by aiding son in heists

Thu Aug 21, 5:18 PM ET
MILWAUKEE - Police in Wisconsin say a woman celebrated her birthday by helping her teenage son rob two gas stations. [Now that's how you celebrate a birthday! Nothing epitomizes the celebration of your own life better than helping your offspring commit a felony. Breakin' the law! Breakin' the law!] Officers in the Milwaukee suburb of Greenfield say the 37-year-old woman acted as the getaway driver [Can't you just see her sitting outside of the gas station in her beat-up old mini-van, with a bumper sticker that says "Your kid may be an honor student but my kid can pull off a hold-up job better than yours."] while her 17-year-old son [a 37 year old woman, with a 17 year old child...are we starting to see a theme in this blog???] robbed the stations at gunpoint. ["I'll be takin' these Huggies, and whatever cash ya got."]
Authorities say the pair were in custody Wednesday awaiting charges. [Charges could not be immediately filed because the District Attorney was out fishin' for muskies.] Their names were not released.
Police say the teen was visiting from Chicago for his mother's birthday. [Here's the call..."Hi Mom. I thought I'd come visit you for your birthday. I want to take you out for a really nice dinner. But I'm a little short on cash so I need you to help me knock off a couple of gas stations so I can pay for dinner. Sound cool?"]
And they say the woman's 13-month-old daughter and two boys ages 10 and 14 [4 kids aged 17 yrs., 14 yrs., 10 yrs. and 13 months. That sure sounds like effective family planning, doesn't it?] rode along during the robberies in Greenfield and Milwaukee. [Well at least they are doing something together as a family. Plus finding a sitter is difficult when you plan on knocking off some gas stations. I mean, what happens if you have to take hostages and barricade yourself in? Can you imagine how much you'd have to pay the baby sitter for that amount of time!] Greenfield police Deputy Inspector Bradley Wentlandt says the younger children have been turned over to child welfare. [That's fortuitous. Child welfare needs funding. The kids have felony theft experience. It's a match made in heaven!]