Granny Sera

From Yahoo News

Grandma arrested for driving with child on roof
Thu Aug 7, 7:54 PM ET

MARATHON, Fla. - Authorities say a grandmother was arrested for driving around the parking lot of a Marathon grocery store with her 3-year-old child sitting on the roof of the car. [Of course. What better way to score the best parking spots. The kid can see who is coming out so Granny can jump on the spot and not have to carry her fat rear-end an extra 15 feet.]Monroe County Sheriff's Office deputies were called to the Publix store Tuesday and arrested a 54-year-old woman after she was driving around with her three-year-old granddaughter on the roof of her car. [Lesson learned - if you are going to plop your kids on the roof of your car, don't do it at the grocery store. You are much more likely to get away with it doing at the liquor store instead.]The grandmother was released from jail 15 hours later. [But not before making the acquantaince of a nice young lady named "Lady T the Destroyer" who had beautiful tattoos, and metal rods through her lips. She wore this red bandana on her head. They did things. Scary things.]The woman said Thursday she would never let anything hurt her granddaughter [Unless you consider putting the fear of death in someone while restraining them to the roof of a car to be hurtful]. She says she was driving at "snail-speed" [She's never going to qualify for that Crash-Up-Derby sponsorship driving at that speed] and holding the child's leg. [How else was she supposed to keep that 'fraidy-cat up there? The whiney brat kept squirming.]Authorities say the woman told police she was giving the child some air [because everyone knows to grow the best free-range children that are tender and juicy, open air is essential] and letting her have fun [because clinging for life on top of a car is one of the top 5 most fun activities for a 3 year old, just behind drinking glass cleaner, sticking your tongue in a light socket, pouring boiling water on your face and catching knives. Woo-hoo! That's enough fun to make you need a new diaper!].She faces charges of child abuse [Prosecutors are also contemplating charges of impersonating an emergency vehicle, since she was making the child yell "WOOOOO-WOOOOO" while carrying one of those rotating circus flashlights]. The child is back with her mother.[The mother was naturally upset, and expressed her disappointment, saying, "She knows better than that. I don't know what she was thinking. I showed her 3 times how to get the car seat up there."]