Beauty Sera

Beauty queen ending reign on a sour note
2009 Miss Louisiana Teen USA to take crown Nov. 1
By Loresha Wilson • ljwilson@gannett.com • October 21, 2008 2:00 am

The reigning Miss Teen Louisiana [Seen here in the bottom photo] was preparing to hand over her crown to her successor in two weeks. Now, she's ending her reign on a sour note after being arrested over the weekend. [Scandalous. Why, no pageant winner has ever been so disgraced!]

Lindsey Evans, 18, has completed her year reign, and the 2009 Miss Louisiana Teen USA is set to take the crown Nov. 1. The pageant will be held in Lafayette on Oct. 31 and Nov. 1. [Where the reigning Miss Louisiana will be dressed up like a responsible adult for her Halloween costume. No one will ever recognize her in that costume.] RPM Production Inc., based in South Carolina, hosts the Miss Louisiana USA and the teen pageant, and officials were collecting information Monday about Evan's arrest and deciding whether she will keep the crown for the duration. [That WOULD be a harsh punishment to take her crown for, uh, 10 days. How ever will she survive that?] A spokeswoman for the company would only say, ["I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as, uh, South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they should, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, or, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future, for our children."]"We do have to go through proper channels and make all the right decisions, but the title will be transferred Nov. 1 anyway."
Evans, of Blanchard, was arrested Saturday on charges that she and three others dined at a Bossier City restaurant and skipped out on the check, said Mark Natale, city spokesman. The teen also is charged with possession of marijuana. [Wait. Aren't you supposed to eat AFTER you smoke the weed?]
Attempts by The Times to reach Evans and her parents Monday were not successful. No one answered calls to their residence. [Ironic isn't it? The parents enter their kid in a pageant in order to get publicity, and when the publicity comes, it's not quite what they signed up for. Irony is funny.] The four women ordered food and ate at Posados on Old Minden Road, and they left the business at about 7 p.m. without paying their bill, Natale said. [Who can afford to pay for food when you have to buy weed too? I am sure her allowance just couldn't cover both.]
"Evans left her purse behind," Natale said. "The manager secured the purse and inside we found her driver's license and a small plastic bag of a green leafy substance believed to be marijuana." [Inside the bag of weed was a note saying "If found, please return to Lindsey Evans, Miss Teen Louisiana."] The women [I am sure that word is used loosely in this case.] returned to the restaurant a short time later to get the purse [Flash back 10 minutes in time and picture the look on her face when she realized the weed was at the restaurant. Here is how I imagine it went down...Lindsey: Ha ha ha. $5.00 for a quesadilla my @ss. Take that, crappy Mexican restaurant. ... Jordan: Yeah, you go girl. That was funny... Jennifer: Hey, I am feeling kinda naughty. Let's not wait to get back to Morgan's house to smoke the weed. Let's do it now. ... Morgan: That's a super idea Jennifer. Lindsey, where is that bag of weed you bought from the grubby homeless guy? ... Lindsey: It's right here in my pur...uh oh.] , and an officer recognized Evans from her driver's license as their vehicle entered the Posados parking lot. She was the front-seat passenger, Natale said. [Our story continues... Morgan: Oh crap, is this going to take like a million years? That crappy Mexican food is giving me some gastro-intestinal issues. ... Lindsey: Shut up bitch. I want my purse. It's a f*cking Prada, ok. ... Jennifer: Just run in real quick. I'll park next to this police car, so no one will see us. Everyone scooch down low in your seats ... Jordan: That's a totally awesome idea, Jen. You are so smart.... Lindsey: Ok. Like wait here and stuff and I'll run in real quick. ... Officer: Hey check out that little hotty right there. I bet she is a little minx. Wait, don't I know her from somewhere? ... Lindsey: Excuse me. Has anyone seen a Prada bag with no cash and a bag of weed inside it? ... Officer: Wait, aren't you Lindsey Evans, Miss Teen Louisiana? You are under arrest. Oh, and can I get your autograph. I think you are so hot. ... Lindsey: Like, no way creepy old guy in a uniform. Get away. ... Officer: Oh. Well here is your purse and your weed. Can I look in your car too? ... Lindsey: Like sure. There's nothing in there.] Police searched the vehicle and found marijuana and drug paraphernalia inside.
Miss Teen Louisiana USA was booked into the Bossier City Jail on one count each of possession of marijuana and theft, Natale said. She posted a $1,000 bond early Sunday. [Police are in the process of checking her prior record by cross referencing her mug shot with Girls Gone Wild videos.] Others arrested Saturday were Jordan James, 18; Jennifer Martin, 22; and Morgan Coleman, 18. [These other girls were released on their own recognizance after they flashed their boobs for some Mardi Gras beads and a key to the cell.]
Evans is a 2008 graduate of Northwood High School and attends Northwestern State University, majoring in broadcast journalism. [Her final project is going to be to interview someone who is locally well known, who commits a stupid crime, loses her reputation, and is publicly ridiculed. Too bad she doesn't know anyone like that.] She was 1st runner-up for Miss Louisiana Teen USA 2007. Evans is set to appear Jan. 14 in Bossier District Court. [Flash forward 1 year, Evans will be pregnant, out of school, and dancing at a truck stop nudie club off of I-49 in Natchitoches.]

Schweddy Sera

[Ed. Note: Even though this is not a story from America, it is way too funny not to include.]

'Battered' testicles on the menu in nutty e-cookbook
Wed Oct 1, 11:19 AM ET
LONDON (AFP) - Squeamish men look away now: a Serbian chef is bringing out Thursday a no-holds-barred guide to cuisine with a twist: "The Testicle Cookbook: Cooking With Balls." [Are there so few food products now that people are actually eating balls???]
Hailed as the world's first testicle recipe collection by e-book publishers YUDU, the cookbook includes author Ljubomir Erovic's favourite dishes, like testicle pizza, battered testicles and and barbecued testicles and giblets. [And don't forget that favorite holiday treat - Schweddy Balls!]
The e-book, available for download from the Internet, comes with handy video guides showing the Serb peeling the skin off testicles and slicing them up into bite-size chunks.
Several different animals, including stallions, ostriches, bulls, pigs and turkeys [and big ole corn-fed midwestern bo-hunks], get the Erovic treatment.
"Wash testicles thoroughly for 30-45 minutes, [C'mon now. That's not a recipe. That's just good hygiene.]" begins the recipe for testicles pie.
"Once softened, mince them in a mincer." [Or simply give them to your ex-wife. She will be happy to mince your balls for you.]
A "very sharp knife" is needed for traditional style testicles, which get boiled, cut up and deep fried in hot oil. [This process is otherwise known as divorce.]
Erovic, 45, may be self-taught in the art of testicle cuisine but his 20 years of "cooking with balls" make him a world authority in the field. [How proud his father must be.] "The tastiest testicles [aside from my own] in my opinion probably come from bulls, stallions or ostriches, although other people have their own favourites," he said.
"All testicles can be eaten -- except human, of course." [Well now Clarice, that is not exactly true now it is? Y'know, a census taker once tried to test me. I ate his testicles with some fava beans and a nice chianti. FFFT FFFFT FFFT FFFT.] Testicles are rich in testosterone [And some other unsavory substances] and they are believed to be a powerful aphrodisiac in countries such as Serbia and China. "The best for aphrodisiac properties are sheep and stallion testicles", said Erovic. [Old Man: "Yak loin. Good to keep the Yang up." ... Chandler Jarrell: "Hey man, nothin' wrong with my yang." ] And with the credit crunch kicking in, more people may give up their rump steaks and turn to testicles instead. [The economy really IS breaking people's balls.]
Erovic also organises the World Testicle Cooking Championship, held annually in Serbia since 2004. It draws in chefs from Australia, Bosnia-Hercegovina, Finland, Greece, Hungary, Norway and Serbia. [Margaret Jo McCullen: Hello. I'm Margaret Jo McCullen.
Teri Rialto: And I'm Teri Rialto.
Margaret Jo McCullen: And you're listening to..
Together: The Delicious Dish, on National Public Radio ...
Margeret Jo McCullen: Now, Teri, it's World Testicle Cooking Championship season again, our favorite time of the year.
Teri Rialto: And we have a very special guest today.
Margeret Jo McCullen: That's right, Teri. He's the owner of his own bakery, with a very, very cleaver name - Season's Eatings.
Teri Rialto: [ laughs ] That's really funny!
Margeret Jo McCullen: I know, it rhymes with Season's Greetings!
Teri Rialto: Please welcome the owner of Season's Eatings - Pete Schweddy.
Margeret Jo McCullen: Well Pete, Teri and I have been looking forward to having you on the show, 'cause we know you're the master of all kinds of Tournament goodies. Tell us about them.
Pete Schweddy: Well, there are lots of great treats this time of year - Zucchini Bread, Fruitcake.. but the thing that I most like to bring out this time of year are my Balls.
Teri Rialto: Mmm.. Balls.. Tell us about your Balls, Pete.
Pete Schweddy: Well, over at Season's Eatings, we have Balls for every taste. Stallion Balls, Bull Balls, Ostrich Balls.. you name it.
Margeret Jo McCullen: Wow! My mouth's watering just thinking about those Balls!
Teri Rialto: It's been years since I've seen any Balls.
Pete Schweddy: Would you like to see my Balls now?
Margeret Jo McCullen: Yeah. Whip them out.
Teri Rialto: Mmm.. wow.. you have some beautiful Balls.
Margeret Jo McCullen: They're bigger than I expected.
Pete Schweddy: A lot of people tell me that.
Margeret Jo McCullen: Look at that, Teri - the way they glisten.
Pete Schweddy: That's because make sure that each one of my Balls gets plenty of oil.
Margeret Jo McCullen: I can't help but, notice, Pete - your Balls are a little misshapen.
Pete Schweddy: That's because I rested them on a hot stove too long.
Teri Rialto: Can I touch your Balls.
Pete Schweddy: Go ahead. But be careful, they're very delicate.
Margeret Jo McCullen: Wow. I can't wait to get my mouth around his Balls.
Teri Rialto: [ sniffing ] Ooh.. I like the way your Balls smell.
Pete Schweddy: Do whatever you want to, ladies. My Balls are here for your pleasure.
Margeret Jo McCullen: [ chewing ] Wow, Pete.. I have to say - your Balls are so tender.
Pete Schweddy: Well, there's no beating my Balls. They're made from a secret Schweddy Family recipe. No one can resist my Schweddy Balls.
Margeret Jo McCullen: Wow.. Schweddy Balls. Nothing like a Schweddy Ball.
Teri Rialto: Good Balls.
Margeret Jo McCullen: Mmm.. good times.
Teri Rialto: Good times.]
One metric ton of testicles are prepared. "When not cooking or eating testicles, or helping others to do so, (Erovic) now runs a company involved in the maintenance of medical and dental equipment," the book said.

Booby Sera

Mama's milk ice cream cone, anyone?

By JOHN CURRAN Associated Press Writer
WATERBURY, Vt. (AP) -- Mooove over, Holsteins. PETA [These folks are now officially off the reservation.] wants world-famous Ben & Jerry's Homemade Ice Cream to tap nursing moms, rather than cows, for the milk used in its ice cream. [Breast milk ice cream? - talk about your Chubby Hubby!]
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is asking the ice cream maker to begin using breast milk in its products instead of cow's milk, saying it would reduce the suffering of cows and calves [at the expense of the suffering of nursing mothers?? ] and give ice cream lovers a healthier product. [Assuming of course that the mom did not ingest any alcohol, caffeine, sedatives, anti-depressants, and had a healthy diet, and that she was disease-free, and that she had no self -esteem, no sense of self worth, and was not in her right mind.] The idea got a cool reception Thursday from Ben & Jerry's officials, the company's customers and even La Leche League International, [naturally, because it is, uh, kinda creepy] the world's oldest breast-feeding support organization, which promotes the practice - for babies, anyway.
PETA wrote a letter to company founders Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield on Tuesday, telling them cow's milk is hazardous and that milking them is cruel. [So to save the cows' feelings, you should instead gather up a bunch of nursing Moms, herd them together like cattle, regulate their diets, and attach them to milking machines, all the while depriving their infants of the milk that would otherwise be fed to them. That's a great plan. The cows will feel better and the women involved will in no way feel belittled, dehumanized, depersonalized, insulted, objectified, humiliated, embarrassed or mistreated.] "If Ben and Jerry's replaced the cow's milk in its ice cream with breast milk, your customers - and cows - would reap the benefits, [plus you could corner the market on creepy fetish fat guys] " wrote Tracy Reiman, executive vice president of the animal rights advocacy group. She said dairy products have been linked to juvenile diabetes, allergies and obesity.
Ashley Byrne, a campaign coordinator for PETA, acknowledged the implausibility of substituting breast milk for cow's milk, but said it's no stranger than humans consuming the milk of another species. [BS Translation: Yeah, we know this is a stupid idea, but we're PETA, so stupid ideas are our forte.] "We're aware this idea is somewhat absurd[Somewhat? I don't think that covers it.], and that putting it into practice is a stretch. [You think?] At the time same, it's pretty absurd for us to be drinking the milk of cows [Yeah, that is pretty absurd. It has only been done for centuries, and the cows really seem to bothered by it. Why, just the other day one of the Chick-Fil-A cows said that she was tired of being objectified]," she said. It takes about 12 pounds - or 1 1/2 gallons of milk - to make a gallon of ice cream. Ben & Jerry's, which gets its milk exclusively from Vermont cows, won't say how much milk it uses or how much ice cream it sells.
As a standardized product under federal regulations, ice cream must be made with milk from healthy cows. Ice cream made from goat's milk, for example, would have to be labeled as such.
Presumably, so would mother's milk ice cream.
To Ben & Jerry's, the idea is udderly ridiculous. [Really? Did that just say "udderly"? Reporters should leave the comedy to the comedians.]
"We applaud PETA's novel approach to bringing attention to an issue, but we believe a mother's milk is best used for her child," [BS Translation: These folks are completely crazy but I am not allowed to say that publicly, so I am saying this instead.] spokesman Sean Greenwood said in an e-mail. He didn't respond to requests for an interview. [Who wants to interview him about this? Is this really news? The economy is collapsing, the election is coming closer, the war in Iraq is a constant issue, prices are going up, incomes are going down, houses are being foreclosed upon in record numbers, and this reporter wants to interview Ben and Jerry about the feasibility of Boob Flavored ice cream?]
Leon Berthiaume, general manager of the St. Albans Cooperative Creamery, which provides milk products to Ben & Jerry's, called the dairy products "among the safest in the world."
"Milk from cows has long-term health benefits and has been proven to be safe and healthy and an important part of the American diet for generations," he said. "I'm not ready to make that change." [Plus it's a stupid idea - there's that too.]
Cow's milk and mother's milk aren't interchangeable, according to La Leche spokeswoman Jane Crouse, who says breast milk is a dynamic substance that's different with each woman and each child and might have difficulty being processed into ice cream. [Of course they are not interchangeable. If they were, it would have been done by now.]
Then there's the question of who would provide the milk, and whether they'd be paid. [Is there really that question? How does the inquiry even get that far? Here is how far the inquiry should get...PETA: "Hey, you should make ice cream out of breast milk." ... Ben and Jerry: "BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh wait, you're serious? BWAHAHAHAHAHA."]
"Some women feel compelled to donate milk to a milk bank for adopted babies, or for someone who's ill or unable to breast feed. There's plenty of anecdotal evidence about sisters who nurse each others' babies. There's a population of women very willing to share their milk. Whether there's enough to do it for a commercial entity, who can say?" she said. [No one can say! No one should say!]
At the Ben & Jerry's factory in Waterbury, consumers gave a collective "Ewww" to the idea Thursday.
"It's kind of creepy," said Jeff Waugh, 42, of Dayton, Ohio. [Thank you Mr. Waugh! That's what I said.]
"I think it's a little nutty," said the Rev. Roger Wooton, 83, of Malden, Mass., finishing up a cup of Heath Bar Crunch. [Yes Reverend, it is more than a little nutty.]
"How would they get all that milk?" said his wife, Jane Wooton, 77. [Why are you even thinking about those logistics, Ms. Wooten? You should go back to knitting quilts and baking dessert squares for the Sunday fundraiser.]
Jen Wahlbrink, 34, of Phoenix, who breast-fed her 11-month-old son, Cameron, said she wouldn't touch ice cream made from mother's milk. She remembers her nursing days - and not that fondly.
"The (breast) pumps just weren't that much fun. You really do feel like a cow," she said, cradling her son in her hands. [and feeling like a cow should be reserved for cows. That is why they are cows. If cows were meant to be treated like people, they would be people.]

Fart-a Sera

Charge dropped against man accused of passing gas

CHARLESTON, W.Va. (AP) -- A West Virginia man accused of passing gas and fanning it toward a police officer [What? No dutch oven? No cupping and throwing?] no longer faces a battery charge. [Battery? That is some heavy gas!] The Kanawha County prosecutor's office requested that the charge be dropped against 34-year-old Jose Cruz. [because no one wants to prosecute a case where a fart was the weapon...could you imagine trying to admit that evidence at trial?..."Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, in this jar holds the gas the defendant used to batter the officer. I will open it for you all to smell. Please use extreme caution, as the defendant ate two chili cheese burritos, a 7-11 big bite, and 3 pickled eggs, and drank 8 Budweisers before this gas was expelled.]
According to a criminal complaint, Cruz passed gas and made a fanning motion toward patrolman T.E. Parsons after being taken to the police station for a breathalyzer test. Cruz denies fanning the gas [this SBD crept over there on its own] and says his request to use a restroom when first arriving at the station was denied. [Just goes to show you why you should go to the bathroom BEFORE you leave the house, kids.]
An assistant says Magistrate Jack Pauley signed a motion to dismiss the charge Thursday.
Cruz, who was arrested Tuesday, still faces driving under the influence and other charges. [such as negligent digestion, involuntary nose-slaughter, malicious destruction of nasal hairs, littering, and a violation of the noise ordinance.]

Fat Assera

These New Seats in Dallas Is Texas-Sized
Wednesday, September 17, 2008

The Dallas Cowboys are America's team for so many reasons: their consistent excellence as a franchise, their brash, bold style, and most importantly, because they insist on calling themselves "America's team." [And who are we to argue with them, right? Don't mess with Texas!] Being the polite people that we are, Americans are generally too nice to argue with the men, especially when they're waving guns and a-whoopin' and a-hollerin' as cowboys are wont to do. (Americans: smart, as well.)
The Cowboys are also America's team, because they made the seats in their new stadium for fat people. [Walk through any public place in this country and you'll see the truth in that statement!]

All the seats at the new stadium are between 19 and 20½ inches wide[They make everything big in Texas!] compared to the 17- and 18-inch wide seats at Texas Stadium. Mock them if you like [And I do like], but the plain facts are inescapable and weighty: your butt is substantially bigger than the hindparts of your forebears [which might have something to do with the pathetically lazy Big Mac culture we have become], and if you want demonstrable proof, try going to Wrigley Field or to Notre Dame and squeezing yourself into a seat . It's an exercise in embarrassment [and God knows Americans don't exercise much, so they probably don't care] even for the svelte among us, since as a whole Americans at this moment are fatter than we've ever been. [C'mon now. America is only 232 years old. That's young compared to other countries. Maybe it's just baby fat and we'll grow out of it. ] You might as well make your stadium to fit rather than attempting to enforce virtue through architecture. [Heaven forbid we actually shun obesity and laziness.] Now, if we could just bring back the wearing of pants pulled up to your sternum [that is, outside of the engineering department at your local college], we could dispense with this whole notion of "not being horrifically obese" altogether, and head down to our spacious NFL stadiums wearing zoot suits and driving golf carts in lieu of pesky, tiring walking. [They are already doing that at Disney World. It is downright shocking the number of morbidly obese sloths tooling around the Magic Kingdom in electric powered Pork-Mobiles with a 64 oz. Diet Coke in one hand, 3 scoops of ice cream in the other, and 4 pounds of fudge stowed in the carry basket in the front.]

Original story and photo taken from the Sporting News:

http://www.sportingnews.com/blog/the_sporting_blog/entry/view/12150/these_new_seats_in_dallas_is_texas-sized

Anger Sera

Woman Runs Herself Over In Dispute With Deputies
POSTED: 12:57 pm EDT September 15, 2008

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. -- A 63-year-old woman returned home from an area hospital on Monday, a day after she allegedly tried to run over a sheriff's deputy but ended up running over herself. [Just picture that in your head. That's funny.]
Mary Davis said she was trying to stop deputies from arresting her son when she lost control of the minivan. [Well duh. Everyone knows that the best way to keep your son from being arrested is to try to run over those who are trying to arrest him. ]
"It was just a freak accident," Davis said. [A freak accident? Yeah, if by that you mean an accident involving freakishly stupid people.]
Baker County deputies arrived at Davis' home on Sunday afternoon because of a domestic dispute involving her son and the mother of his children. [Note - not his wife, not his ex-wife, not his fiancee, not even his girlfriend...just the mother of his children - and they say America has lost its family values]
"I said, 'It's wrong that you're taking my son [so I gonna run your @ss over],'" Davis said.
She said that's when she told deputies if they were going to arrest her son, they would have to take her as well. [Also a great strategy for reasoning with the authorities...what did she think would happen?..."If you arrest my son, you have to arrest me too. ... Oh, no. We don't want to arrest you ma'am. What ever shall we do? ... We y'all better git on outta here then. ... Ok, ma'am. Since we don't want to arrest you, I guess we'll have to let your son go. Sorry to have disturbed you."]
"I was angry [Hmmm... Mom is angry about the son being arrested for domestic violence (no doubt anger related) ... The apple does not fall very far from the tree does it?] and I was just trying to get them to not take Clay because he hadn't done anything," Davis said.
According to an incident report, Davis ran inside her house, grabbed her keys and jumped into her minivan. One of the deputies was trying to get her out of the vehicle when Davis put the van in reverse and put her foot on the gas. [I wonder if she blew her Dukes of Hazzard horn first.]
The report states, the corporal had to jump out of the way to avoid being hit by van's door, which was still open. The woman fell out of the van when it slammed into a lawnmower.
The van ran her over, and then rammed into a Baker County Sheriff's Office vehicle.
"I can't explain it. It just happened too fast. [BS Translation: I am a big, giant moron and I did something so incredibly stupid that the English language does not have words that will explain this in such a manner that I may avoid embarrassment.] When you get angry, upset, that's just how fast things can happen before you even know it," Davis said. [BS Translation: I am a big, giant moron and my mind processes information at such a slow rate that even paint drying seems to happen at a break-neck pace.] Davis did not break any bones during the incident. Charges are still pending in the case.

Terror Sera

Oakland man gets 2 1/2 years for crank phone threats

(09-15) 16:50 PDT SAN FRANCISCO --
An Oakland man was sentenced today to 2 1/2 years in federal prison for threatening to blow up San Francisco City Hall and the Westfield Shopping Mall.

Devon Craft, 22, pleaded guilty in May to threatening to destroy property by explosives. He admitted that on July 13, 2006, he used a cell phone to place four 911 calls threatening "terrorist attacks" in San Francisco. [Really? In this day and age someone is dumb enough to do this?]
Craft admitted that he tried to disguise his voice by using a "Middle Eastern accent" [Because there is no way someone could see through his brilliantly executed fake accent] in his calls, during which he also threatened to blow up the "San Francisco Tribune" [There is no such paper as the San Francisco Tribune. What a genius!] and said innocent people would die, prosecutors said.
Craft also admitted to making threatening phone calls in June 2006 regarding attacks at the San Mateo and Dumbarton bridges "so that he could get time off work to visit his son at the hospital," prosecutors said. [Boss, can I have off? My son is in the hospital. ... No I am sorry. You can't. ... NO? That makes me very angry. And when I get angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth get upset, PEOPLE DIE!] Court records did not indicate how Craft believed the threats would provide him with time off. [Because no person with two brain cells in the same zip code could possibly following the logic of this plan.]
At a hearing today in San Francisco [It's a wonder that this genius did not pull the court's fire alarm to try to get out of his hearing], U.S. District Judge Marilyn Hall Patel ordered Craft to serve 30 months in federal [pound you in the @ss] prison. [where he can learn to be a proper criminal] The sentence will be on top of state-prison terms he is now serving for unrelated theft and robbery [He has a record? Shocking. ]in cases from Alameda County.
Authorities said Craft was sentenced to more than two years in state prison for store parking lot robberies in November 2006 in Alameda County. Craft grabbed women's backpacks, purses and handbags in the robberies, authorities said. [Wait a second here. This guy got 2 years for purse snatching, but only got 2 1/2 years for threatening to commit terrorist acts against 6 different targets on two separate days? Anyone else see the disparity there?]