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Thanks to follower Beachterp for the heads up of this story. The orginal story, along with photos, can be seen on The Smoking Gun at http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0205091doll1.html
Make sure you check out the pages after it, especially the one showing the police report at the end.
Blow-up Doll Party
Floridian nabbed for public ménage a trois with plastic partners
FEBRUARY 5--A Florida man was arrested yesterday after he was spotted fondling and making out with a pair of blow-up dolls in a supermarket parking lot. [Cops are always trying to front on the true playas! C'mon, don't hate the playa, hate the game.] Shoppers called cops [911: 911 Emergency Response. What's your emergency. ... Caller: Uh, yeah. There is a guy f**king a doll in the Publix parking lot. ... 911: Uh, ok ma'am. Stay on the phone with me. Can you describe him. ... Caller: Yes. He is a white male, early to mid 50s ... 911: Oooh yes. Caller: goofy look on his face, thin spikey hair... 911: Oooh yes. Keep going. ... Caller: He's wearing shorts with a hole in the crotch... 911: OOOOOHHHHH. YES! .... Caller: And he is having a doll's mouth rubbing up and down on his ...911: YES! YES! YES! OOOHHHH. Someone get me a cigarette.] when they spotted George Bartusek, 51, getting busy in the front seat of his 1998 Lincoln Town Car[What else is a pimp gonna drive], which was parked directly in front of a Publix store [Apparently this guy thought the store was called Pubix, and was coming to add to his collection]. Evidence photos showing Bartusek's inanimate partners were provided to TSG by the Cape Coral Police Department. According to a police report, witnesses told cops that Bartusek was "performing activity to two different blow up dolls[A man that sexy cannot be expected to be a one-doll man] in his vehicle that was consistent with masturbation and other simulated sexual activity." He was also spotted "aggressively" kissing [Dat's right. Gots ta keep his pimp hand strong] the dolls. When confronted by police, Bartusek said that he was headed to Target to "get some clothes for his dolls." [Of course. Dem hoes need some fly gear to get dat money. Everyone knows Target has the fliest gear anywhere.] Bartusek, charged with breach of peace, was wearing shorts with a three-inch opening "in the crotch area."[Poor guy. 3 inch opening corresponds with a 3 inch, er, nevermind] Of course, he "had no underwear on under the shorts,"[Of course!. Underwear is for suckas!] noted police. Bartusek is pictured at right in a Lee County Sheriff's Office mug shot.
