Boozer Sera

I know it's been a while since I last blogged. Thanks for your patience. Here is the latest entry:

DWI suspect run over by own truck
Police: 'Significantly drunk' driver falls out of vehicle; pickup then rolls over man's legs
Jason Auslander The New Mexican


A 21-year-old allegedly drunken driver was run over by his own car Sunday afternoon after leading police on a chase and neglecting to put his truck in park after finally coming to a halt, police said Tuesday. Roy Aguilar — who narrowly missed crashing into two other oncoming motorists during the nearly 10-minute chase near Cochiti Lake — sustained only minor injuries [Why is it that no matter what happens, the drunks always sustain only minor injuries??] after he fell out of his Ford pickup and it rolled over his legs. "You could see how easily this guy could have killed somebody," said Department of Public Safety Secretary John Denko, who viewed a videotape of the pursuit Tuesday with reporters. [Yep. That's right. There is video. See it at www.santafenewmexican.com/video/ ] Aguilar first came to the attention of police when he was allegedly involved in a hit-and-run accident in the parking lot of Applebee's Neighborhood Grill and Bar [That gives their catch phrase "Feelin' Good in the Neighborhood" a whole new meaning, doesn't it?] on Cerrillos Road in Santa Fe, said Peter Olson, DPS spokesman. Not long after, drivers on Interstate 25 began calling the state police's Drunk Busters hot line [When they start to swerve, and it don't look good, who ya gonna call? Drunk Busters! ] and reporting Aguilar's erratic driving, he said.

State Police Officer Grace Romero found Aguilar parked by the side of N.M. 16 at the Cochiti exit from I-25, according to a videotape. Romero tried to contact Aguilar, but he started driving down N.M. 16, a two-lane road with dirt shoulders, toward Cochiti Lake, when he saw her. [It's always a good idea to compound your hit and run with drunk driving and then top it off with fleeing and eluding. ] Aguilar swerved all over the road — including driving completely in the oncoming lane at times — as Romero pursued him, the video shows.

Romero, who also attended Monday's news conference, said she was trying to alert oncoming traffic to Aguilar's erratic behavior by using the lights on her patrol car. [Because they would see that better than the crazy nut-job swerving all over the place? ] After pursuing Aguilar for a couple of minutes, he abruptly sped up to more than 70 mph , when his truck veered off the road to the right dirt shoulder, then swerved across the road to the left. [Woo-hoo! Look at me! I am writing my name in tire tracks! Woo hoo!] A sport-utility vehicle coming toward him at the time — which contained a couple on their way back from church [Could it be more stereotypical?? Kinda reminds you of Homer Simpson and Ned Flanders.] in Peña Blanca — drove off the road to its left, and Aguilar swerved just in front of it, narrowly missing crashing into it. Aguilar then drove way off the road to the left, before swerving back across the road to the right side — this time cutting behind another sport-utility vehicle and just barely missing it. [Wait! I gotta dot the "i". Woo Hoo!] Aguilar then drove across the ditch to the right of the road, through a barbed-wire fence, and continued across the dirt and scrub in a cloud of dust. He drove on the dirt for another minute or so before coming to a stop. [Think about that...60+ seconds is a long time to drive before you realize you are no longer on the highway (as if crashing through the barbed wire was not the first clue).] But instead of putting the truck in "park," Aguilar instead put the gearshift in "reverse," [Stupid shifter!] then opened the door, put one foot down and crumpled to the ground. [Some laws can be broken, but gravity ain't one of 'em.] As he lay on the dirt, the truck rolled over his left leg and both his ankles [If it rolled over both ankles, isn't that the same thing as rolling over both legs?].

Romero quickly exited her car, checked briefly on Aguilar, then went after the truck, which she said had begun moving relatively quickly in reverse. [Thank goodness she took that truck ropin' class at the academy.] When she entered the truck cab to stop it, she found the seat soaked with urine, she said. [Mmmmm. Urine. So warm and squishy. I bet her uniform was comfy then. And just imagine the smell - alcohol+urine+sweaty man+New Mexico heat...well that's just a recipe that will tickle even the most discriminating nose!] She also found a 1.75 liter bottle of vodka that was three-quarters gone, she said. [So let's do the math, shall we class - There are roughly 17 shots in a standard 750 ml bottle. (Yes I looked it up on line.) So that would equate to roughly 40 shots in a 1.75 L bottle. If he drank 3/4 of that, it would be roughly 30 shots of liquor. WOW. ] When she went back to Aguilar, he was conscious [That in and of itself is a miracle.] and "a little combative," Romero said. He had a chunk of cactus in his head [This must be where he hit his head on the cactus trying to catch that stupid roadrunner. Beep Beep.] and was trying without much luck to get up off the ground, she said. [He should have ordered the Acme anti-gravity boots.] Aguilar was able to tell the officer his first name was Roy, though he couldn't tell her his last name,[that's Roy E. Coyote, Super Genius] Romero said. His speech was slurred and his eyes were glassy and red, she said. Six hours later, Aguilar told the officer he thought he had gotten off the interstate at the Santo Domingo exit, Romero said. [And everyone knows the Santo Domingo exit has barbed wire at the entrance and turns into a dirt field. C'mon! What is this, a witch hunt!]

He likely sustained only minor injuries to his legs because the dirt in the area where he was run over was very soft, she said. Police later drew blood from Aguilar, and though they didn't release his blood alcohol content Monday, Denko said he was "significantly drunk." [Fantastic police work, guys!] Denko and State Police Chief Faron Segotta cited the Drunk Buster hot line — #394 (DWI) [I wonder how many accidents are caused each year by people looking at their phones while driving and trying to figure out which numbers are D-W-I on the keypad.]on a cell phone — as proof that New Mexicans are fighting the state's DWI epidemic. [But apparently wholly unconcerned with the State's talking on a phone while driving epidemic] "We have a lot of people who have consumed this much alcohol on our streets," Denko said [That must be a direct quote from the Chamber of Commerce's promo materials. Come to New Mexico and drink your face off. The rest of are.] . Alcohol-related fatalities have fallen 25 percent this year over last, both men said, which is proof that law-enforcement and community efforts to combat the problem are working. Aguilar was charged with aggravated driving while intoxicated, aggravated fleeing from police, careless driving and not wearing a seat belt [as well as public urination, olfactory assault on an officer, malicious destruction of property (for the officer's soiled uniform). And by the way, what happened with the original hit and run at Applebee's?]. He was also cited for driving on a suspended or revoked license. In addition, he was arrested on a bench warrant from San Juan County Magistrate Court that charged failure to appear on an original count of consuming or possessing an open container of alcohol [GASP! Say it ain't so! Not another alcohol violation. Sad part is that he'll get his jail time suspended, go on probation, have to attend AA meetings and alcohol classes, and maybe even a safe driver course, and when he leaves court that day, it's straight back to Applebee's for a little happy hour celebration!], according to online court records.